When You Don’t Feel That Loving Anymore

“I wish my husband would listen to me, and spend more time with me.”

“Everything seemed alright. How did we grow so apart?”

“I wish my wife understands how much I love her.”

“It is too far gone to make things alright again.”

If you have said this to yourself, remember, there is still hope. All is not lost. With God, it is not over, until He says so. Only He can, and if we are willing, bring life back into those desert places in our lives. One word from Him, can make the parched land bud and blossom.

Open your heart bare before the Lord, and let every single concern be laid at His feet. Instead of attempting to change things in your own strength, ask Him to help you. Trust Him to speak to your spouse, and birth a fresh desire and love that will not fade but only grow with the coming years.

God specializes in the impossible and no situation is too hard for Him to turn around. Guard your marriage against any third voice. Should there already be a chink in the walls of your home, speak His name and power over this situation. Ask God to fill you with the right words to say at the right time, confront when needed – and trust Him to sever any relationship that threatens your God-given destiny.

God will nudge and lead you to be to your spouse, the person of their dreams, in ways that may seem a little trivial, or just a little out of the ordinary. Follow His leading in whatever He tells you. It may be fancy and sparkling as roses and candle-lit dinners; to more tender gestures of being a listening ear, a comforting and encouraging voice and a helping hand.

What are some of the things you loved to do together when dating? What was it that made you both laugh? What were those things so easy when you first met, but seem too burdensome now, that you did with joy and eagerness?

What if some things could just be undone (or dropped-off and forgotten), and if you could start dating all over again?

What are the things that wouldn’t matter in the light of eternity? Where can you show grace?

Mutual love and respect are the two sides of the coin of healthy marriages. You cannot have one, and not the other. Loving and respecting your spouse is reflected in valuing their opinions, appreciating their difference, honoring even when you differ, and fulfilling each others needs.

Be the voice of love and affirmation to your spouse, the harbor of comfort and encouragement in the midst of the rushing, demanding and challenging world outside. Your genuine adoration and appreciation is what your spouse longs and needs to hear, more than the opinions of others outside home.

Choose to say to your spouse, words of appreciation and genuine love that you would like to hear said to you.

The more you realize how much God loves you, the more of the love you have received will flow through you to your spouse. Christ in the center of your home is the key to “…and they lived happily ever after.”